A few days ago I was having a
healthy debate with a co-worker about a new process I wanted to roll-out in his
department. The process had been tried at other buildings with inconsistent
results, so I wanted to modify the process enough to fit with the culture of
our team and still get strong results from it. I had done my research, I felt
confident with the data, and I was certain that the process was going to be a
win for our building, even though the results were yet to be determined. I was
very passionate about the material I was presenting to him during the debate,
and it seemed that my passion for the material and results was passed off onto
him toward the end of the discussion. He was not completely won over, but felt
that he was in a much better position than when we started and his comfort
level with the process had increased. I assured him that I knew the process
would work and benefit us in the way we expected. He told me my confidence and
passion behind the matter was quite convincing, even for him as he is not
easily swayed.
One emotional reaction I
experienced during the discussion was confusion, as he initially told me that I
was not going to tell him something that he did not already know. I thought
this to untrue and I was surprised that he said that without hearing me first.
Another one was fear, as I was a bit fearful that he was going to remain
close-minded throughout the discussion. This emotion quickly subsided as the
discussion went on and he started asking interesting questions. The last
emotion I felt was passion for the subject. I as completely convinced that the
process would help us and I wanted to convey that to anyone else who cared
about it.
In an example of not having as
much confidence, I was making an attempt to give some hard feedback to a co-worker
of mine who I also considered a good friend. This was a bit uncomfortable for
me and because this was first time doing it, I felt nervous and unconfident. I
approached him and started the message very nervously with a soft delivery. I
think he picked up on this and told me that if I needed to tell him something
to be straight forward with him and give him the message, even if he wouldn’t
like it. I changed my approach and was very honest and up-front with him. His
reaction was very calm and he thanked me for giving him the feedback.
In this case, nervousness was the
biggest emotional reaction I felt before the message was delivered and during
it. I was unsure how he would take the feedback and it showed in my approach.
Another one was happiness, as I was very pleased to learn that I could tell him
anything without it damaging our relationship. The third emotional reaction I
felt was relief. I was relieved after giving the message, only to find out he
was grateful for it and welcomed the opportunity to get feedback that would
help him.
