A521.4.3.RB - Subtleties of Communication and Hidden Messages

Non-verbal communication is extremely unforgiving and noticeable by people who may not even know you. When you show non-verbal communication that is not consistent with your verbal communication, credibility is lost and the audience may be less trusting of what you are trying to convey.

I am a naturally impatient person, and it shows sometimes in my non-verbal body language. As McKay and Davis state in the book, some of these non-verbal signs of impatience include sighs, frowns, and crossed arms and legs. I have a tendency to do this in meetings where the subject is dry and boring. This does not happen often at work, but it does in my personal life, and my wife is the first person to point it out to me. I need to become more understanding of the people I am listening to. I need to give them the respect and attention they deserve, as they have given to me. I sometimes cover up my emotions or feelings with words, when my actions and body movements may show differently. This happens more at work than it does in my personal life, mainly because I want my team to associate me with a positive attitude, not a negative one. If I am feeling down or sad, I will try my best not to show it so that it doesn’t have an effect on the people who I am surrounded by.

One specific instance is when I had a rather eye-opening meeting with one of my mentors at work. It happened at the beginning of my shift, so I had a bit of a drab attitude for the rest of the day. My team members knew something was wrong because I am typically outgoing, fun, and talkative at work, and I failed to display any of these traits that day. I told them nothing was wrong, but they knew. I could have opened up to them because I have very strong relationships with most of them, but I kept my feelings and emotions closed-up.

I think the main areas that need improvement in my communication skills surround my non-verbal language and body language. I am usually a positive person, but I don’t do the best job of hiding my feelings in my personal and professional lives. I think that family members and co-workers will be more accepting of my feelings and thoughts if I just open up, rather than hiding. I care a great deal about what people think of me, so I try not to show negativity. This could hurt me because it may come off as being insincere and not genuine.